Candy Dots

Jennifer hands me something that somewhat crashes my sensory filters. What is this? Something that doesn’t make sense…paper-backed, hard semi-spheres…she said something about them being eaten?

Why?

Something is not computing.

I mean…I can understand it…I get the overall concept and nature of the item…but I have to work at doing so.

It takes effort.

It falls outside the paradigm of my choices these days: simplicity

I don’t experience it as simple but, more importantly, I don’t experience me as simple in relation to it…and if I’m not simple, that throws everything off.

Am I making too much of this? Not necessarily. Except for the task of writing for 15 minutes, I would have let it go long ago.

The writing brings me back to a simpler state, however. The writing makes sense…although that’s not really the word. Better, “the writing feels right.”

There is no good/bad in all of this…that’s clear…there is only that which nurtures me and that which doesn’t.

A huge part of my path these past few months…when I consciously, purposefully let go of a friendship that had been the closest one in my life for over five years….has been discerning these realities.

That relationship was no longer nurturing
….and I could no longer pretend
that it was
or make excuses
or rationalize.

I’m appreciating simplicity a lot.

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