My mother never told me…

My mother never told me…

….much about ”relationships”…as in “being lovers.” Maybe from not having that broad a perspective…a whole life with one man…from 16 till his death. And maybe because farm girls from McAlister didn’t grow up talking about such things with males, including their sons.

But then again, little else in life told me truth about that subject…informed me how to navigate such mysterious realms with an open heart…a heart connected to my pelvis.

Did I actually know that many people in the course of my journey who knew what I wish I could have known?

Was I even capable of hearing the realities of life if I had been told…clearly….explicitly?

There is ample evidence of my inability to handle that much truth in my early years.and, indeed, my “early years” seemed to stretch for a painfully long time. Yet, as the I Ching reportedly observes, “perseverance furthers”…and I feel gratitude for persevering…in spite of the magnitude of the mystery…
….in spite of the degree of my doubts and confusion at times
…and the allure of fantasy over reality until recently.

It’s…what’s the adjective?…”ironic,” I guess…to be the age I am, when many peers feel their lives have literally passed with resignation firmly setting in and to feel finally free…
…free to begin again
…free of the massive conditioning
…free to love fully, at last.

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