Candy Dots

Candy sits on a strip of paper. It looks like something you would find at American Apparel – an 80s retro slap bracelet. This is precisely the kind of thing Mom would never let me eat as a kid. I was weird and wanted spinach, so I didn’t really care about candy restrictions very much. I have to ask Chris if they had this kind of thing in Germany when he was growing up.

Candy. Well, Candy reminds me of Halloween. Reminds me that I should get a costume, but I don’t really know of any parties. I said to Chris that he should wear lederhosen and I’ll wear a cheesy Indian Princess costume and we can go as Pocahontas and Johann Schmidt. Chris was highly offended and said, “Only Bavarians were lederhosen! No self-respecting Schwabian wears lederhosen.” But then we went to Volksfest in Stuttgart and the new fad for teenagers is non-ironic lederhosen and dirndls, so he had to eat his words. I like Halloween for precisely these ridiculous arguments. It’s just such a killjoy at work when all the super-religious people are vociferously anti-Halloween because they consider it “satanic.” I think the consumer-psychosis at Christmas is satanic. I think mass killings of turkeys at Thanksgiving is not so great either, but I don’t go around trying to ruin everyone ease’s fun. I wish people would keep their opinions about the evilness of Halloween to themselves. (On a sidenote, I’m thinking I need to invent vegenhosen, the non-leather and breathable natural fiber alternative. It sounds dumb, but it could be my niche.)

Who invented candy dots on paper? Is there a special technological reason for the candy dots to be affixed to paper? Is this a historic kind of candy? (I forgot, I need to reschedule my dentist appointment. My dentist inflicts a lot of pain on me. He’s also expensive. Once I went out drinking with him. He wore leather pants. Chris and I were really amused. We never went out with him again, although he seems like a nice guy. His wife bears an uncomfortable resemblance to a stripper I knew in Dallas…)

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